Sing GNR, Get Arrested.

We already knew karaoke could get your ass kicked, but now we also know that karaoke is hazardous to your criminal record.

Quote of the Day

"Commuting by bicycle is all about two things: smugness and safety."
Found in the "Commuter" section of a Christmas shopping guide located here.

Am now searching for a bumper sticker that says "One Less Self-Righteous Cyclist."

B.O.O.T.A.Y.

You may recall that I've posted a Bangers & Cash (aka SpankRock) album cover before, and now they've gone and produced my favorite video of 2007.

All I Want for Christmas...

Is a blinged-out toilet. Part of the full "Isis" line by Jemal Wright Bath Designs.

Amy Winnnnnhz hzzz trubbbbl sinnngin.

WTF. This is your artist on drugs.

Amuse yourself on Capitol Hill!

Or while reading Pike/Pine.

Stop all the downloadin!

I had forgotten about these videos...

The Pacer is back!

Only now it's from Sweden. Also, this may be a Gremlin, I get them mixed up.

JEM can save you from Trouble.

I am a better and safer person for having viewed this information. I trust you will be, too.

I like concerts, and admire this fellow.

It's not easy being a freak, and this t-shirt makes me happy. Thanks, C-Kven!

I will be Old someday. And a robot.

This suit doesn't look too comfortable, but it does give me hope that I can one day be RoboCodger.

UPDATE: I just noticed that it appears to incorporate a built-in rocking chair. Sweet.

Rock On.

We are stealing this from Robot & Vine, but this song does R.O.C.K.

More than Born to Run. Don't be stoopid.

We love the Croc (no, not Crocs)!

But we think that the phrase "perfect storm" is the stupidest, most overused, most meaningless phrase we've come across in a while. It purports to absolve those involved from responsibility and makes a not-unheard-of occurrence sound like a once-in-a-lifetime event.

Are we excited?

The answer is yes. B-Boys recruit MIA to make their album better.

More proof that Satan invented Crocs.

Kids + Crocs will result in mangled feet.

Fashion tips.

From Mr. T. "Stay cool, Jeff."

Crocs kill.

And now there's proof that they can kill more than my will to live.

Call it what you want, but this is not funny.

We feel that all should be allowed to express their Jumpsuitedness in a non-judgmental atmosphere. Why this was on some "Freaks and Geeks" show is beyond our comprehension.

Ayyyy!

The King Jumpsuit already knew that the Manolo was the best fashion blogger ever. Little did the King Jumpsuit know that the Manolo would be the best celebrity blogger ever. Actually, the King Jumpsuit still doesn't know that. But the King Jumpsuit might one day.

We heart booty bass.

Spank Rock was already enshrined in our playlists, but this makes us laugh. And cry. For joy. Also, we are reminded of this Found Magazine gem.

Carney makes good!

As a lawyer. I think we know why this is funny.

Law bloggers discriminated against.

I don't really care about the content of the referenced post. I just laugh every time I hear (or read) "law blog," thanks to Arrested Development.

Bill Murray Update!

Apparently the Swedish Golf Cart Incident was just an innocent attempt to take strangers to a 7-Eleven. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. Hopefully he lets me know the next time he needs an attorney to accompany him in Scandinavia. My favorite part is where he indicates that the police "asked me to come over and they assumed that I was drunk and I explained to them that I was a golfer." I might have added, "Is this not an appropriate place to park?" And then threatened to write a strongly worded letter to the Right People.

Item!

The P-I can't count
Syllables in my haiku
Still free book for me.

On 8/30/07, Guzman, Monica wrote:

Ouch. We sounded that one out all wrong. For catching us at our mathematical worst, you are an honorary winner. Give me your first and second choice on those books and we'll give you second pick.

Mónica Guzmán
Online Reporter, Big Blog Contributor
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
101 Elliott Ave.
Seattle, WA 98119
P-I's Big Blog: http://blog.seattlepi.com/thebigblog

-----Original Message-----
From: Jumpsuit
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 12:45 PM
To: Guzman, Monica
Subject: Haiku (non)issue

Umm...

E/lec/tri/fy/ing (5)
E/lec/tro/cut/ing ath/lete (7)
in new u/ni/form (5)

??????????????????

Which is worse?

Manu Chao's outfit (posted below), or the creepy dude wearing what look like long johns on the cover of Paranoid? Discuss.

Hmm. Maybe I do hate John Richards just a little.

At least I find the evidence of his self-obsession/megalomania kind of annoying. First the stage dive thing at the KEXP BBQ that coincided with the anonymous hate-letter posted here previously, now I'm supposed to care about his stupid toddler. Give me a break.

We need more maps!

Oh. My. Gawd.

Creepy beer commercial!

I do not know whether I like this commercial or find it freaky. It has beer, robots, and girls, all good things. But it's more than a little off-putting in a Stepford kind of way. Anyway, I still f&@%ing hate Heineken.

Newfound respect for a crappy artist.

I didn't care much for Manu Chao live at Sasquatch, with his predictable anti-Bush shouts, endless, repetitive songs, and pathetic calls for audience cheers, but I love how crap-ass this album cover looks. It doesn't even have a "I want to make it look like I don't give a crap, but really I feel a desperate need to maintain my indie image" look to it. Much respect, Manu.

Real-life ninjas climb trees "just like a squirrel."

I think we know that I wish I was this cool in high school.

Oh my dear lord, the world is ending.

Time travel needed to go back and eliminate the inventor of Cruggs. It may be the only way left to save humanity.

Grr.

We are so angry that someone stole our idea for a companion blog to Genius Juice. We hate them.

Too much?

Some M.I.A. interviews for anyone interested. Is "organicness"* a word? Should it ever, ever be said with a straight face?

*“organicness can be defined by the fact that the work as a whole is governed by a certain law of structure and that all its parts are subordinated to this canon”

I hate bus people.

But I couldn't help but love the jackalope image that Sound Transit is using. The message makes more sense in combination with the radio spot, but the bus boards are simply bizarre. Which is good. Make sure you check out "Grizzled Cowboy."

Be your own guitar hero.

Or a hero of many other instruments using JamStudio, which is work-, oops, scratch that, WEB-based and free.

Yay!

Are we fans of The Knife? Hint: the answer is yes. And now we can see and hear more of their patented weirdness.

More Funny! Not Funny!

Part II of Funny! Not Funny! would have you consider a different Ted.

Funny! Not funny!

Part I of Friday's Funny! Not Funny! series asks you to consider Ted Nugent.

Confusion.

I would love to mock the authorities for not identifying this device, but I think I would have been befuddled, as well.

We heart Found Magazine!

And it's coming to Seattle. Tried searching Found's website for info, but they are having technical issues at the time of this post.

UPDATE: Found site is up, here's the tour schedule with Seattle's info still TBA.

New favorite pastime!

Cleaning out my insides by searching in blogger for profiles that are near-guaranteed to yield reading material that makes me throw the heck up. Any suggestions?

I'm confused.

OK. What is up with Forbes? First I find that they've got a hip-hop biz section, now I discover that they've got some fake Steve Jobs blog (I'm aware that's not news). I'm sorry, but when I think Forbes, I think this. That dude is not edgy, and I suspect that Forbes is trying a wee bit too hard to fit in. Eww. But I suppose the kids like him always tried that. Double-eww.

Uh-oh...

I want to see the author of this "I-hate-KEXP-because-of-John-Richards, plus-I-wear-a-tinfoil-hat-to-protect-me-from-his-global-conspiracy" piece locked in a room with Cass and Kelly. How long before s/he is head-butted to death?

Is it just me?

Or is Bookswim kinda pointless? Over 150,000 books! Although I don't trust librarians, my local library claims to have over 2 million "items" - I suspect that a few of those are books. And despite the fact that I'm lazy and don't return things on time, I don't think I've ever come close to racking up $20/month in fines.

Not Funny!

Every time you take a picture that no one else really wants to see or cares about, God kills a kitten.

UPDATE: I'm coming to realize that if it were lolcats instead of kittens dying, I'd start some sort of rally to take as many of those pics as possible.

Mustachioed Ms.

Witness the glory that is a gallery of the best Mariner moustaches of all time.

"It isn't illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic, ... but it is very unusual."

So sad that Bill Murray doesn't have HST to keep him in check anymore. And no, C-Rap, I will not be eliminating my lazy (for me) link system!

Borrowing.

The folks at Neighborrow seem to have a fun idea - a logical extension from craigslist and freecycle - but reading about the concept now has that scene from Friday - "Craig! Let me borrow your VCR right quick" - stuck in my head...

Item!

View the linked video to learn how Snoop Dogg sold his soul to Satan. Interestingly, and possibly coincidentally, Dr. Dre is trying to pry the rights to The Chronic back from Death Row.

Not clear who this weirdo interviewer is...

But M.I.A. is cool. Watch the 2 episodes of interviews currently up, and check out the links!

Maybe if their signs are creative...

I don't really ever give money to panhandlers, but it's more because I'm a) cheap and b) rarely carry cash. But for those who do, does it really matter where that money is going?

Magnolia Crime Spree!

Hmm... thousands "light up" pot at Hempfest just to the south of Magnolia this weekend, while at the same time someone decides to "light up" some porta-pots around Magnolia. Coincidence? I think not.

Jumpsuits on TV.

Check out a pretender to my jumpsuit throne, who appears to be some sort of cross between DMC and an Oompa Loompa.

Missed opportunity!

Apparently I should have decided to go to Carl Newman's wedding, after all - or at least the afterparty, where I could have sung karaoke with Neko...

Who's ready for some M.I.A.?

M.I.A. is coming out with a second album, Kala. I, of course, am looking forward to it - although I can't help but wonder if another artist is out there to steal her thunder, much the way I (courtesy of friends) feel that M.I.A. stole Lady Sovereign's thunder by putting out the album that should have been the SOV's second album?

Poll!

Please read through this site which frames the argument, then vote in the poll on the right here at Genius Juice.

Competition for Simplify Media?

Came across Anywhere.FM today - much like Simplify Media, but claims to upload everything rather than requiring you to leave your main music box turned on. Free with unlimited storage for now, we'll see if it stays free/up/in business.

Don't eat the yellow snow.

But it's OK to drink the yellow water.

Not hip-hop, but...

I hope you'll forgive me for going off-topic, since it is only to provide a taste of what we've all been missing by failing to attend Daft Punk's concerts.

More Geto.

Continuing the hip-hop theme for today, more Geto Boys-related videos can be found here (Star Wars) and here (Sesame Street).

Freestyle!

I'm hoping that this video of some fly freestyle will inspire C-Rap to put some beats down behind another freestyle and post it on YouTube.

Funny! Not Funny!

If this dude is real, it's not funny, I suppose. Otherwise, witness a guy who thinks he is Smoove B's white brotha from anotha motha, has a doctorate and would like you to know about it. Unlike Smoove, however, he is probably a douche.

Good song, annoying review.

Always glad to see the Geto Boys get recognized for more than songs from Office Space, but I kind of think I'd slap this reviewer to shut him up if I actually had to listen to any music with him.

How High? New York Child Mentoring program gets a new role model!

Umm... what prosecutor really believes that any kid will listen to Method Man talking about the dangers of drugs?

Dash of the dachshunds

Courtesy of The Seattle Times

Item!

Forbes.com now has a hip-hop section.

Is it TV season yet?

Football season is approaching, as is the long nine months of crap-ass weather here. I will be watching FOX a week from today at 8pm in hopes of kickstarting the resurgence of my TV habit.

I don't believe in horoscopes.

But this thing is uncanny. I'm floored. And a Pisces.

WTF?!!!?

I cannot begin to explain how ashamed I feel that I've never thought of attending this Baranof event.

Funny!

This police chase is not as funny to me as my earlier post about cops harvesting marijuana, but it's still pretty funny.

Sad or funny?

I really am having a hard time making a decision on this capuchin's plight. Also, will John Leguizamo or Gilbert Gottfried do his voice in the movie based on a true story?

More disappointment.

Molly Hatchet's album covers may lead one to believe that they are the long-sought-after band to rule them all, but careful listening reveals a lame Skynyrd rip-off.

That Kanye, he crazy!

For some reason, I'm reminded of that Dwayne Wayne kid from the Cosby Show spinoff, A Different World. I'm not ready for this stuff to be back yet.

Fascinating.

Can't wait to try this out when I get home. Oh, the possibilities! I'm led to believe that you type words and the player spits out snippets of matching song lyrics.

Shhh!

Don't let that moose know that you're laying a hand on your bible to pray for extra-special Baby-Jesus aiming powers! Apparently boldly proclaiming one's faith doesn't extend to our national forests.

Dare we attend an all-ages show?

Dan Deacon at the Vera Project 9/6, 7:30pm. Can he be appreciated sans alcohol? The $7 ticket price helps convince me that the answer is perhaps.

Bumbershoot: Do I Care? Update

My care factor for Bumbershoot continues to fall each year. This time, the one day I would even consider attending (Magnolia Electric Co., The Shins, The Saturday Knights, Menomena, Panic! at the Disco) will likely lose out to a one-year-old's birthday party. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club would possibly merit a Sunday visit if I could justify the ticket price to see a single band.

Another concert to attend?

The jury's still out - will I be at Key Arena on December 3rd? Please feel free to congratulate me for avoiding the inclusion of any song lyrics in this post and its title.

Crazy Cops.

Police officers decide to harvest 3,000 marijuana plants, get really... um... "exhausted and dehydrated," need to be rescued. There's humor here somewhere...

Sad Cookie Cat

Your Score: Sad Cookie Cat

51% Affectionate, 48% Excitable, 62% Hungry

You are the classic Shakespearian tragedy of the lolcat universe. The sad story of a baking a cookie, succumbing to gluttony, and in turn consuming the very cookie that was to be offered. Bad grammar ensues.



To see all possible results, checka dis.

Link: The Which Lolcat Are You? Test written by GumOtaku on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

We don't want any more windows bieng coverd!

Metro's lame bus wraps have riled the mildly retarded of Seattle!

I will let you all know what the view is like from the buses in hell.

Tool.

I can't imagine what this would be useful for. Maybe somebody else can.

Almost perfection.

Nice try, but...

a) It's not clear that it can have a drink ready for me when I walk through the door at 5:35.
b) It connects to A REGULAR PHONE LINE to communicate to the automated ordering system.

More development needed.

Forgotten Album!

Had totally forgotten how much I enjoy The Lovin' Spoonful!

Why you should be scared of Rudy.

Or anyone else who tries to feed you free-market philosophy on health insurance. And you thought it sucked getting dropped from your auto policy for having too many claims...

Also, I apologize for a political post, but these plans always get me riled up.

Seattle Parks Review

Paul and I had talked about making a book on Seattle-area parks, but the Times beat us to it. Although we first talked about this ten years ago and still have done nothing, I may sue.

Maybe the hippie girl was right.

Seriously - I, too, want to head-butt this dude.

True confession: Last weekend I sang Truly Madly Deeply and had to head-butt myself. This is not as easy as it sounds, as it involves a time machine and a studded leather "time-collar."

It's Fun to ???

Enlightenment awaits you. I've tried this with Stairway to Heaven with some success, so I'm already kind of a believer.

Best New Artist?

I'm a pretty big Carrie Underwood fan, but I may end up being persuaded to vote for Amy Winehouse... oh wait, I see there's another option. Can I still like Peter Bjorn and John now that they're nominated for an MTV Music Award?

New Fundraising Technique?

I'm wondering if "negging" has more universal application - for funders, as an example. Should I start writing to Bill and letting him know that he needs a better haircut, and I never use Live Search? Also, eww.

Still not sure...

It's possible that this is cool. Although I'm not to the point of really enjoying his music for its own sake, like some Broadview residents are.

Must temper excitement.

New shopping sensation a little later than first hoped, but still v. exciting!

Law for Morons

Want to screw up your personal affairs? Prolegaldocs is here to help! Hopefully someone will come out with a handy free pharmaceutical or surgery kit so I can save money on those, too!

First Post!

Beginning of the blogspot era... starting with a repost of my favorite post today from my tumblr blog: koldplay karaoke kick-ass!